We at Lindenwald Press believe that you can find all the real-life misery you can handle for free without having to pay for the privilege of reading about more. How many times have you sought a few hours of solace from this troubled world, only to immerse yourself in a tome that sucks you into a realm of gloom, and–after wasting your time with flowery passages that ensure confusion for you and a shortlist to the Booker Prize for the author–provides only a sad ending (or no ending at all), leaving you more despondent than when you first picked it up?
Worry no more; Lindenwald Press will only publish books that are humorous and/or uplifting, and that–despite the difficulties faced by the protagonists in the narrative–are guaranteed to have a satisfying ending.
There is enough injustice, heartache and irretrievable loss in this world, and our goal is to add no more to it. That is our pledge.